Worst Writing of 2005

Okay, this isn't about Quiz Team, the Bible, or even some topic we have once referenced at a quiz meet. But you have to check out the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2005 Results. This is an annual contest to write the worst possible opening to a hypothetical novel. Here are a few of my favorites.

"Max thought the night-time burglary at the California surfing museum would be a safe caper, but that was before he spotted the security cop riding a bull mastiff, blond hair blowing in the wind, and noticed the blue-and-white sign wired to the cyclone fence, "Guard dude on doggy.""

"The night resembled nothing so much as the nose of a giant Labrador in excellent health: cold, black, and wet."

"When Mr Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday, his children packed his bags and drove him to Golden Pastures retirement complex just off Interstate 95."

"The assassin drew his dagger - a simple line drawing in black ink on rose-tinted vellum."

Suddenly, I am wondeing if Midwinter should feature a contest for worst written Quiz Question of the year. Hmmmmmm....