HUMOR: It's All How You Interpret It

Not mine.  From here.

A woman had just returned to her home from an evening of church services, when she was startled by an intruder. She caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables and yelled: ‘Stop! Acts 2:38! 

(Acts 2:38 (ESV) says “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of your sins.”)

The burglar stopped in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar: ‘Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you.’

‘Scripture?’ replied the burglar. ‘She said she had an Ax and Two 38s!’