HUMOR: Copy and Paste

Not mine.  From here.

A pastor I know has a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he uses the Find and Replace command on his computer to replace the name of the deceased from the previous funeral with the new name.
      The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the Apostle's Creed. "Jesus Christ," the congregation read from the program, "born of the Virgin Edna..."

HUMOR: Pain in the...

Not mine.  From here.

At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
      Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
      Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

HUMOR: What makes for a good sermon?

Not mine.  From here.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.  - George Burns

HUMOR: Fund-Raising Ideas

Not mine.  From here.

One Sunday the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, 'My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...... 
A $100 sermon that lasts five minutes
A $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes
And a $20 sermon that lasts a full hour.

Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver.'

WEEKLY COMIC: How's your endurance?

BONUS COMIC: Psalms Cry Out

HUMOR: Copy and Paste

Not mine.  From here.

A pastor I know has a standard liturgy for funerals. To personalize each service, he uses the Find and Replace command on his computer to replace the name of the deceased from the previous funeral with the new name.
      The next morning, the funeral was going smoothly until the Apostle's Creed. "Jesus Christ," the congregation read from the program, "born of the Virgin Edna..."

HUMOR: Pain in the...

Not mine.  From here.

At Sunday School they were learning how God created everything, including human beings. Johnny was especially intent when the teacher told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
      Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
      Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."

HUMOR: What makes for a good sermon?

Not mine.  From here.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.  - George Burns

HUMOR: Fund-Raising from the Pulpit

Not mine.  From here.

One Sunday the Reverend Jones announced to his congregation, 'My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons...... 
A $100 sermon that lasts five minutes
A $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes
And a $20 sermon that lasts a full hour.

Now, we'll take the collection and see which one I'll deliver.'

HUMOR: Watch those corrections!

Not mine.  From here.

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon.

"How do you know what to say?" he asked.

"Why, God tells me."

"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

HUMOR: The Secret to Sermons

Not mine, found online.

"The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible."- George Burns

Talking to You

Think before you preach

HUMOR: Truly Ironic

Not mine. From here.

"There will be a meeting of the Board immediately after the service," announced the pastor.

After the close of the service, the Church Board gathered at the back of the auditorium for the announced meeting. But there was a stranger in their midst -- a visitor who had never attended their church before.

"My friend," said the pastor, "Didn't you understand that this is a meeting of the Board?"

"Yes," said the visitor, "and after today's sermon, I suppose I'm just about as bored as anyone else who came to this meeting."

HUMOR: Sermon Watch

Not mine. From here.

One minister says that it doesn't bother him at all if his members look at their watches during his sermons. It does affect him, however, when someone not only looks at his watch, but also holds it up to his ear to see if it's still running.

Love them shades

Service comes in many forms

HUMOR: How is a Sermon like the Love of God?

After a very long and boring sermon the parishoners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons."Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God!" The pastor was thrilled. "No-one has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why." "Well - it reminded me of the Peace of God because it passed all understanding and the Love of God because it endured forever!"

Last Day is Today, But it Need Not End

Today is the last day of Nationals - an event which was a life-changing experience - and the songs and speakers are likely echoing in the memories of the students who went. But every cup that is full empties in time. If you want to refill the cup, consider downloading the messages from the week from the Challenge 2010 website. Click on the image below to see what is available.