HUMOR: Confusion

Found on the internet.

This is a story about a little girl who, on the way home from church, turned to her mother and said, "Mommy, the Preacher's sermon this morning confused me." The mother said, "Oh! Why is that?" The girl replied, "Well, he said that God is bigger than we are. Is that true?" "Yes, that's true," the mother replied. "He also said that God lives within us. Is that true, too?" Again the mother replied, "Yes." "Well," said the girl. "If God is bigger than us and He lives in us, wouldn't He show through?"

HUMOR: Millions

Not mine. From here.

Two friends greeted each other while waiting their turn at the bank window.

"This reminds me of Finnegan," remarked one.

"What about Finnegan?" inquired the other.

"There's a story that Finnegan died, and when he greeted the Apostle Peter, he said: 'It's a fine job you've had here for a long time.'
'Well, Finnegan,' said Peter, 'Here we count a million years as a minute and a million dollars as a cent.'
'Ah!' said Finnegan, 'I'm needing cash. Lend me a cent.'
'Sure,' said Peter, 'just wait a minute.'"